When I First Realized Faith Was Not Just “Fluffy”

If faith is a real thing, then shouldn't we learn how to do it?

If you grew up in a religious or semi-religious environment, you probably heard about faith and trust in God, often equated with the Hebrew words emunah and bitachon, often. I know I did.

Though I loved the idea of trusting in a loving Creator when I was a child and teen, as I got older, I became skeptical. Somehow, trusting in God always meant not worrying about things. Believing they would work out for the best. Knowing I could leave my needs in God’s hands and He would provide.

And yet, some of the greatest breakthroughs in my life did not appear to involve God in any obvious way. They were the fruits of my own diligent, intensive effort. So what role did faith play? I began to think that the common approach to faith was the province of religious parochialism, and by encouraging people not to take responsibility in their lives – was actually kind of damaging.

But one night, as I sat at the desk in my cramped bedroom office, the book of Numbers propped open before me, I began to think otherwise.

While I followed the saga of the Jews in the desert and their painful loss of all hope of entering the land of Israel, it struck me that at the heart of this story was a message of faith. The spies failed because they did not have faith that God would enable them to inherit the land. It even seems as though emunah was a prerequisite for entering the land of Israel in general. After all, both Moses and Aaron were denied entry because they did not “have emunah in God to sanctify Him” (Num. 20:12). The Jews were likewise denied entry when they “did not have emunah in Him and did not listen to His voice.” (Deut. 9:23).

So often, we get caught up in the details of a Torah portion that we fail to notice the larger themes. Yet, that year, the larger theme hit me in a surprising way. And I realized that faith was not the province of inspiring, yet impractical lessons. It was a message of the text itself. The idea of faith immediately gained authority in my eyes.

I thought suddenly – you know, God really wants us to trust in Him.

And in the same moment, I found myself asking, but how?

What does it mean to trust in God? Isn’t it irresponsible to adopt the approach that “God will provide”? Do we, at any point, forgo the actions and behaviors of the person who views himself as being in control? And if not, if we have to do everything that the non-trusting man might do anyway, what does it mean to trust in God? How does trust help us in any practical way?

Can you relate to this question?

Let me know your answers. In the meantime, stay tuned.

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